Thursday, September 07, 2006

Orderly bloody transition

We're all getting very bored waiting for Tony to say something, Gordon to do something. Live by the media kerfuffle, die by the media kerfuffle. At the moment the implosion of the Government is the only eye-catching initiative, even if it leaves most hard-working families cold. God, I hate New Labour catchphraseitis.
I am going mad hearing the same phrases repeated over and over and over again: the worst offender being 'orderly f***ing transition'.

Everytime I hear it I want to smash my head into my desk.
Here, as a public service are some alternatives to the wretched phrase. Please can you encourage any passing commenters and pundits to give them a whirl?

methodical metamorphosis
controlled conversion
disciplined progression
decorous shift
manageable transmutation
restrained realignment

For heaven's sake, if you can't say anything meaningful, at least use some more interesting language. Hazel Blears, you're the worst offender.

*headesk*


UPDATE: Tony Blair's statement in full. Yawn. Why can't he apologise properly, just for once in his life?

''The first thing I'd like to do is to apologise actually, on behalf of the Labour party for the last week...'' is what he kicked off with.
Why can't he say '' I'm sorry that I've become such an electoral liability and I realise that it's time to go, since very few of you trust me to lead the country anymore, and for that, and all the mistakes I have made, I apologise.''
The much more amusing Newsnight blog competition to write the speech that would get Blair off the hook is here.
Ho Ho. Students leave school visited by Blair today to jeer him. From Blairwatch...'And in the distance was the chant of "Murderer!"
Why? His team had picked a school where a third of the students come from Lebanon, Afghanistan and Iraq. Doh!'
UPDATE 2: Fantastic. This cheesey 'Keep the Faith' online petition was soon over-run by silliness, then tracked back by blogger Tim Ireland to Labour HQ , whereupon the cupboard door was opened only for some rather smelly skeletons to tumble out....
UPDATE 4: Mr Eugenides spots Gordon's coded transmissions, he's right, quick, get your tin foil hats on, and Daniel Finkelstein at the Times New comment central blog is determined to get down with the pyjama kids and be a real, proper blogger and does a good fisking of Gordon Brown to prove it.

14 Comments:

Anonymous Chris King said...

Nods in agreement.

Hands Rachel packet of headache tablets and a cushion to put on the desk....

September 07, 2006 1:37 pm  
Blogger Tom Freeman said...

Smooth move? Happy handover?

September 07, 2006 1:45 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BRAVO - we need interesting words. Words are fun!

Keep up the excellent work / writing!

Often feel like *headdesk* myself!
Any spare cushions Chris?????

Lol
H

September 07, 2006 2:45 pm  
Anonymous Andy Ramblings said...

How about orderly morphed? Or Just Nu labour morphing.
It's gonna be the same party, same policies, just different faces?

You have given me a brilliant idea, A TB punch bag!?

September 07, 2006 3:14 pm  
Blogger snooo said...

same policies, more boring faces...

September 08, 2006 1:25 am  
Blogger quarsan said...

Rachel, just never, never click on this link - Blairwatch post.

But don't, just don't.

September 08, 2006 6:12 am  
Anonymous Roger said...

Pedestrian Crossing?

September 08, 2006 11:20 am  
Blogger Leighton Cooke said...

Maybe Gordon should have squatted Number 10 while Tony was on holiday. At least a coup d'etat would have been interesting. A few tanks on Whitehall, some calming words from Auntie BBC and then we could have all sang "Summer Holiday" and back to business as usual.

September 08, 2006 1:31 pm  
Blogger Mr Eugenides said...

If you enjoy the phrase "orderly transition", you'll love the transcript of Gordon's appearance on Sunday AM a few months back...

http://mreugenides.blogspot.com/2006/05/cyclops-code.html

September 08, 2006 2:55 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

methodical metamorphosis
controlled conversion
disciplined progression
decorous shift
manageable transmutation
restrained realignment
contrived coronation

September 08, 2006 11:30 pm  
Blogger Chertiozhnik said...

One Mr Miliband from the "New Statesman"...

"We can have an energising, refreshing transition and that's why what [sic, apparently] I would say: the transition to Gordon - just to underline - the transition to Gordon Brown, the smooth transition to Gordon Brown, the energising, refreshing transition to Gordon Brown - not to anyone else - is a transition that is about ideas and values more than about dates."

Energising, refreshing, smooth, refreshing, energising. And properly underlined. Dates are the shitey things you get at Xmas. Who do youy think you are to complain?

September 11, 2006 1:24 am  
Anonymous Chertiozhnik said...

"We can have an energising, refreshing transition and that's why what I would say: the transition to Gordon - just to underline - the transition to Gordon Brown, the smooth transition to Gordon Brown, the energising, refreshing transition to Gordon Brown - not to anyone else - is a transition that is about ideas and values more than about dates."

Mr Miliband in the New Statesman.

September 11, 2006 2:37 am  
Blogger Squander Two said...

You've got one thing wrong, Rachel: Blair is not an electoral liability. The reason this is happening is that Labour's MPs have deluded themselves into thinking that they can win an election without him.

September 11, 2006 11:06 am  
Blogger Raw Carrot said...

alternative phrase:

"gay love"

I think Blair and Brown actually really love each other... They just find it hard to show it.

September 11, 2006 5:12 pm  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home