Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I realise how frightened, shocked and deep down tired I am

WEDNESDAY 13 JULY 1244 BST
I talked to a counselling service on the phone (work gave me the number) and then to my boss and we all agreed that taking a bit of time off would be a good idea.
I'm feeling very, very tired indeed and I'm still not sleeping very well. I am starting to cry at odd times. I will go back to work on Monday after I have had my stitches taken out.
It was good to have faced the Tube journey and to have got that over with, but doing so did make me remember the events of Thursday morning all over again and has made me realise how frightened, shocked and deep-down tired I still am.
I need to rest, rushing about trying to get better using sheer willpower isn't going to make my body heal any faster and it isn't going to make my mind heal any faster either.
So I am going to spend the day in the garden with my tomato plants and pots of flowers and the cat, being quiet.
Tomorrow I am going to Trafalgar Square for the two minute silence and I am going to meet up with Mark and his wife Sarah and hopefully the other two people from the bombed train who have got in contact.
Messages of support continue to pour in. My local mini-cab firm who know me well, and the local Turkish shopkeepers, who are all Muslims, have all passed on best wishes and told me how the local mosque is raising money for those injured.
I told them I was happy that people were all standing shoulder to shoulder to condemn the bombers and to encourage each other.
More bombs went off in Iraq, I just saw on the news, killing many people including small children.
All over the world ordinary people try to do their best in a frightening world.
I'm thinking about all of those who are terrified, injured, caught up in events beyond their control. I'm thankful for the peace and quiet of my little sunny garden where I can have some time to myself.

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