Tuesday, July 12, 2005

If I'm scared on the Tube, I'll break the Don't Talk rule

TUESDAY 12 JULY 0824 BST
Right. Time to go back to work. On the Tube.
I texted my boss last night and said I would be in, but would it be ok to avoid the rush hour?
So instead of setting off at 8am like I normally do (or 8.20am, like I did on 7/7) I'm going to leave the house after 9am.
I'm feeling very quivery at the thought of it, the sensation of fear is like a shaky feeling in my chest and a watery feeling in my stomach. I'm going to take my heels in a bag and wear flat shoes. In case I need to run. And carry a bottle of water, but I normally do that in hot weather.
The way I am going to manage the Tube journey is to think of getting out the other end and how pleased with myself I will be when I get off. And how much I like my job and want to get back to it. I've only been in my new job since May. Nearly being blown up is not really the way I wanted to raise my profile in the office!
I'm going to look at my fellow passengers, as I said last night, and if I start to have a panic attack I will just break the Don't Talk We're Londoners rule of London Tube-travelling and say "I'm feeling scared, can you help me?".
And if I see anyone leaving their bag unattended I think I will probably slap them.
I'll let you know how I get on.

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