Monday, July 16, 2007

Five Years On

It's five years ago tonight since a stranger came to my door.
Since he told me to be silent and to 'never speak, never say a word, bitch, or I will kill you'.
Then he tried to kill me anyway. Beat me. Smashed me up. Tied me up with wire.
But I was already dead to him. I had slipped far away where he couldn't get me .
So he left my body on the floor, and he ran away.
And I won that fight.

'Nobody's gonna come get you. Don't you scream for help.' he said
But I came back to life, and I got up and got help.
'Where's yo' man, now bitch? ' he had taunted.
My man came. My man held me and loved me and stood with me.
My man married me.
So I won that fight too.

And I told my man everything. I told everyone who loved me, everything.
I told the police, I told the Judge - and now the stranger is in jail.
And everyone knows what he is. Dirty loser psycho criminal.
He got fifteen years. Three concurrent. He'll probably be out in 2008 or 2009.
But I'm free now. I'll always be free.
I won that fight.
I won every fight.
Hands-down, sucker-punch, slam-dunk, no comeback, no mercy, game over.

Think you can tell me to be silent?
Think you can tell me nobody will help?
Think you can break me?
Fuck you, mister. I won.


Blogger Lisa Rullsenberg said...

Rachel, my awe at your ability to be so positive never fails to astonish me.

You certainly DO win: our affection, our admiration and our action to think as you do.

July 16, 2007 9:42 pm  
Blogger KG said...

Too bloody right, my dear. Fuck them all. You are worth more than any of those shallow, evil people who have tried to harm you.

You are a wonderful, beautiful, strong young woman. Full of compassion and an enquiring and amazing brain!!

Love always my friend,

July 17, 2007 3:38 am  
Blogger Glamourpuss said...

God, this post made me cry! Rachel, you have done more than win; you have triumphed.

I am in awe.


July 17, 2007 7:13 am  
Blogger Kris said...

I like it.

You should consider Apples & Snakes poetry.

July 17, 2007 9:23 am  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

It is ludicrous that such an evil weasel could ever think he had genuine power over anyone using nothing but brute force to assert said power.

I hope prison is doing its duty by him and giving him time to both reflect and regret. Sadly I don't hold out much hope for prison as a place of reformation these days. At the very least, let's hope he's moved on from his attack on you and scales down his criminal activities when released.

A very powerful piece of writing Rachel - straight from the heart.

July 17, 2007 12:36 pm  
Blogger Wisewebwoman said...

I was so moved, what an incredible FOAD, Rachel, you are an inspiration to all who read you. When is your book coming to - I can hardly wait to get my hands on it.

July 17, 2007 9:04 pm  
Blogger Gavin said...

Yes, Rachel, you have certainly won all the psychological battles, the battles of the mind.
But to read that this monster will be out of jail possibly by next year?... Without wishing to politicise this, is that in any way indicative of a government acting "tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime"? Shouldn't you, and other women, be made safe from the likes of him for a very long time, even until his death? (or at least until he is far too old to pose a realistic threat)? Five years inprisonment and then free again, to me that is a travesty of justice.

July 20, 2007 11:47 pm  
Blogger Rachel said...

He's supposed to be deported. Let's hope that is the case. That was one of the reasons I was so angry with Clarke, that foreign criminals were lrealsed and not deported

Sorry about the language by the way. I have never used that word on the blog but this felt like the occasion that deserved it

July 21, 2007 5:42 pm  
Blogger TN said...

Rachel you sell yourself short.
You didn't win, you triumphed.
Hope your Mum continues to get better.

July 21, 2007 8:18 pm  
Blogger Badger said...

I think your amazing. Your strength is wonderful. How I wish I was not locked in shame. Reading your blog tonigt switched my light back. The one I lost sight of down that long tunnel.

Thank you.
Badger x

July 26, 2007 11:26 pm  

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