Almost time to publish

From the publishers...

''I finished reading your manuscript last night and it is such a powerful read. I was totally absorbed by it and I think you pulled me through just about every emotion.You have the balance just right...''

Thank God they are happy with it. Oh, thank God; the relief is indescribable.

I can't stand to read the book through any more, it was driving me mad. I was up til 3.00am for a few nights last week, and flat out all day making last minute edits, and finishing it off. The worst bit was deciding to change the tenses of the first five chapters which meant a late night eye-bleeding rewrite changing everything from 'says' to 'said', and so on, it was indescribably tiresome, like when I used to have to mark English grammar exercises ( I used to teach English as a foreign language).

Just spent the afternoon doing a pre-record for the national news ( for a big terrorism story breaking next month). They wanted to mention the book. I said no. Please, no.

The book is personal and nothing to do with the campaign for an independent 7/7 inquiry. I'll talk about the book when it is time, after the big news story has broken and the news cycle has moved on. I really don't want to confuse the two separate issues. I don't want people to think the 7/7 inquiry campaigning is about the book. It is not; it never was. I only started writing the book in October 2006.

I speak out about an independent inquiry because I truly believe we need one. I have said so since December 2005, when the Government said they would not have one. And the more I found out, the more I realised how explosive it all was. And why they didn't want to have one. And it is frightening, and very sad, so sad.

I can't tell you what today's interview was about yet, as it is all sub judice. I will as soon as I can. There is one hell of a tidal wave coming, as secrets that have been hidden for too long start to emerge...I am relieved, privately, that this is finally happening, because I have had to sit on all this stuff for over 15 months, knowing what I know, but not allowed to say anything, because of the trial. Now the real reason why I - me, Rachel, personally - have been asking for an inquiry into 7/7 will be made clear.

I raised my voice at first, months ago, because people I care about - many survivors and bereaved wanted an inquiry. I was happy to do so, because it seemed to me in my naivety to be blindingly obvious - the public deserved independent, truthful public answers as a matter of public interest - regarding what was known before, during, and after 7th July. So we could all feel safe. So that trust would not break down. So we could learn lessons, and save lives, and spare suffering in the future. When it happened again.

I was thrust into the spotlight, because I had this blog, where I was honest about what I thought and what had happened, and it made easy copy and research for journalists. I was asked to write, and speak, by survivors and others, so I wrote and spoke.

And then I started to follow a trail. I read, I researched, I found out more and more and more. I talked to people. I listened. I made it my business to know, as much as I could find out.
Why?
I didn't want to let anyone down, by not being as briefed as I could be.

But what I found out was devastating. First, whispers, rumours. Then, facts, and I checked, and followed up, and I sat with what I knew, and sometimes I cried. And I bit my lip and waited.

I wish that I did not know what I found out.
But I had to know, because I still hear the screaming, and it will haunt me 'til I die.

Now the waiting is almost over

And the whispers will become a mighty roar. And many voices will be joining in the crying out, and perhaps, soon, there will be an end to this banging on a brick wall, and justice will come.

It was never about blame, I always said that. It was always about trying to save lives in the future.
People make mistakes, I always understood that. People feel terrible that it happened on their watch, I understand; I do not seek blood-letting; too much blood has flowed already.

If the people doing their jobs are the best, the brightest, the most well-briefed and highly trained, then they should admit their mistakes, learn, stay in their jobs and carry on.

If their conscience will not let them stay, because they failed, and they know how and why they failed to protect us, they should go.

It was, and is, not just about a failure of intelligence, but a failure to use intelligence.
A failure of imagination.

A misguided belief in a 'Covenant of Security', that was never security; that was a lie.

And for me, it is about the screaming I hear, still, in the darkness, when I sleep.
That might have been avoided, knowing what I know, what they knew, what we will all know, soon. And so I wait, and I write, and I wish, for what is coming soon.

You want to look prescient?

You can always sign here.