Sunday, June 03, 2007

NPD and cyberstalking

So good it gets its own link, because people need to know why. Comments & further discussion of the psychology of stalking welcomed over at Ministry of Truth (rather than here, as I am having a breather from it all, whilst the police crack on)



Blogger Decker said...

Here via one of those stalker buttons on another site.

Sorry to hear you are having such problems with this woman.

Hope she is caught soon so you can get on with your life.

June 03, 2007 5:35 pm  
Blogger Calamity Jane said...

Just tuned in and read about this stalker business (sorry, so many blogs, so little time). How awful. You don't need a psych degree to identify that she's a complete kook - just a look at her blog. Justice will prevail - I'm certain of that. Chin up.

PS - Huge congrats on your marriage. I can think of few places nicer than Norwich cathedral in which to be wed.

June 04, 2007 8:14 am  
Blogger R.H. said...

I can't understand why you've written thousands of words about this, making such a huge song and dance about someone who is so obviously paranoid. She needs treatment -not persecution. Surely the kindest thing is to report it to the authorities and let them deal with it. No one really wins an argument against the mentally ill. Nor is there any glory in it.

June 04, 2007 6:26 pm  
Blogger Not Saussure said...

Surely the kindest thing is to report it to the authorities and let them deal with it.

RH, possibly you might try re-reading what Rachel's written about this. She -- err -- has reported to the authorities and they -- err -- are trying to deal with it by serving a bench warrant on the stalker, issued after the stalker had failed to turn up for her trial and been convicted in her absence after the court had heard all the evidence.

Unfortunately, this is a bit like looking for a needle in a haystack -- big place, London -- and Rachel's asking that we give the authorities some help in finding this woman precisely so she can be brought before the court, sentenced and, one hopes, while she's in prison receive the treatment she needs.

June 04, 2007 7:27 pm  
Blogger R.H. said...

Where does it stop? What is she, a child murderer? A Belsen Nazi making lampshades from human skin? Goodness me, has she even threatened to kill anyone at all? She's obsessed with her opinions, that's all, and can't shut up about them. Rational people forming into a mob over this amazes me -issuing badges and God knows what! I can't help thinking you're getting enormous excitement from wanting to run this poor woman down, you're like a pack of wolves.

She's just not well, okay? Mentally ill.

Leave it to the police.

Don't be vigilantes.

June 05, 2007 5:21 am  
Blogger Rachel said...

How is asking people who use cyber cafes in NE London, E London and Oxford to look out for a wanted criminal in said cybercafes, and if they see her, to call police, being a 'vigilante'?

The police are in favour of the campaign, which is no different to Crime Stoppers or Crime Watch. Targeted public awareness raising. Helping police via tip offs from the public is normal. Meanwhile, awareness of the law on onlin harassment is raised, and discussions of the motivations of 'trolling' pertinent.

The buttons simply say to call the police, not wrestle her to the ground or chase her with a pitchfork.

Have you actually read the story?

Your blog profile is interesting...

June 05, 2007 7:46 am  
Blogger R.H. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

June 05, 2007 4:37 pm  
Blogger R.H. said...

I'm sorry you had this experience. She deserves being arrested for it, I agree. Although I think she's more eccentric than evil. And I've seen some extremely evil blog writing on this internet; people who are maniacal. Dangerously mad.

June 05, 2007 5:05 pm  
Blogger Rachel said...

RH, I don't want revenge; I never, ever have sought it: it only hurts the vengeful. I don't want her hurt.

It is not for me to say if she goes to prison or hospital: it is for the court to decide. But after a year of this, almost unendurable mental torture, (and no, I have not put much of it in the blog) and after her FINALLY being found GUILTY in public court of stalking me, ( and being banned from the net, and from writing to or about me, and it making NO DIFFERENCE) - I just want her out of my life, and for her to never, ever, contact me again.

She is nothing to do with me, she never was, and I have been more than patient. She has her problems, but they are not my responsibility, and after her doing her best to hurt me every single way she can think of for a year, I do not think I am responsible for what happens to her next. She brought this on herself: she chose her own behaviour. She chose to continue to stalk me, even after 3 arrests, warnings, charges and prosecution.

I daresay most other victims in stalking cases would say the same: they would say Just.Make.Them.Leave.Me.In.Peace.

I know all the victims of FJL who have contacted me would say this.

I am not sure why you are having a go at me RH, here, publicly, to be honest. I have never stalked or libelled or harassed anyone. I am not wanted for arrest. I have never been previously jailed for stalking, left a trail of bad debts, I have not been in and out of court for years, and all I want, all I have ever wanted is for her to leave me alone. I never chose this, nor did I invite it.

Please, RH, let the courts decide what to do with her, let them decide if she is 'eccentric',(possibly) or a convicted stalker (yes, legally) - and if you canot help get her to court, via helping to look for her and calling the cops, then please leave me alone. You clearly have not heard as much as the Judge. YOu don't seem to have read the situation. Fine. Please go and read something else. I am not in the mood for defending why I am asking peopel to look for a convicted crimnal who has tried to destropy me , personally, and professionally, since April 2006, for no reason at all.

June 06, 2007 12:09 am  
Blogger R.H. said...

Well it would be hard for me to help look for her when I'm in Australia. And I'm not surprised she went down on the charge; the Beak always gets dirty when he hears "No appearance, Your Worship". Still, it would probably have led to a pre-sentence report anyway, I'm not sure that in the end she'd actually go to jail as such. I must say I'm rather curious that you've saved all her emails, right from the start, and I'd reckon a sure way to escape your almost unendurable torture for so long should be obvious. There's no way for instance, I'd allow my wife to continue with it.

But I'm not having a go at you at all, she's indeed said some outrageous things about people, but has had some outrageous things said about herself as well (I've seen several 'learned' diagnoses -including one of my own). Meantime, she reminds me very much of Bea Miles (now deceased), a strange lady living in Sydney. She harrassed the entire public transport system, believing it should be free. And she was a huge woman, jumping into cabs and refusing to get out. She got beaten up quite a lot. As it turns out, she'd been a brilliant student, but ended up homeless, in rags, quoting any passage you'd like from Richard the Third, for five bob.

June 06, 2007 2:47 am  
Blogger Rachel said...

Well, RH, it is fortunate that I have a lot of storeage space and keep ALL emails and comments from everyone, isn't it, because when she went to the police and made malicious complaints to them that I was harassing her last summer
( one of the many ways she sought to harass me) I was able to immediately produce all the evidence that showed she was stalking me. Other methods she employed to try to 'break' me included publishing my direct line at work and my work address on the internet, outing my name ( illegal for rape survivors who are protected by anonymity), publishing my father's website and address, and repeating claims publicly, as well as to the police that I was a criminal, mentally ill, a blackmailer, an abuser, a liar and should be prosecuted.

Not only did she write this on her blog, but on million-hit blogs like Comment is Free of the Guardian newspaper.

Sit back and let my personal and professional reputation be trashed for a year? Yes, I did. Because the police needed me to. Now she has gone on the run, and continues to try to cause as much damage as she can to me - and her numerous other victims - it is, I think, appropriate that she is seen for what she is, and that the UK blogosphere, her playground, turns against her of its own voilition, cutting off her ability to do further harm in future. And it remains the duty of the public not to shelter wanted criminals, and to report sightings of convicted abscondees to the police.

I am surprised that your opinion as to whether your wife would be 'allowed' to produce evidence of her harassment would trump her being asked to work with the police as a prosecution witness.

June 06, 2007 9:04 am  
Blogger dc007 said...

Hey Rachel, dftt mate ;)

June 06, 2007 2:32 pm  
Blogger Rachel said...

...*slaps forehead* yeah, I just read back the Unity piece and the RH trolling was *much* more obvious there. I onl cottoned on with the 'wife 'remark. Ah well. He'll be deleted on sight next time. I don't want to have to put comment mod back on now it is only registered users, but any arsing about and I will. My twattery-tolerance is at an all time low. NPD or not.

June 06, 2007 2:37 pm  
Blogger Muser said...

Hi Rachel
I have been following this story and I really hope they catch her soon.

I had my own stalker, and its not something you can ignore. He was my first boyfriend, i was 17 and he was 26. We were together for about a year and a half when i left him, and he made my life miserable and completely destroyed my confidence.

I was in fear of my life and ended up leaving my home, family friends, job and college in Wales to put 250 miles between us.

Before I left Wales (and I'm still too scared of his friends, 16 years later), he tried to get me sacked, he assaulted me, he made death threats, he sent me the most twisted letters i have ever seen, he broke my windows, and slandered my name all over the small town where we lived.

Enough was enough, so I left the area. After I left, he hit my mother, stabben my brother wih a pair of kitchen scissors because he wouldnt tell him where I was living (in a hostel...), and so much oher stuff.

The police thought i was a silly teenager who had had an arguement with a boyfriend. They didnt know he was a paranoid schitzophrenic, and there were no anti-stalking laws then. I was advised he would have to find me and assault me before anything could be done.

So I sat tight. Somehow he got my phone number and my address, and he sent me letters written in blood, 'deepest sympathy' cards with razor blades in, and phoned daily, up to 30 times a day.

I thought i saw him everywhere - on buses, in queues, on the street. I was too scared to visit wales where i grew up incase he saw me. I beleived he would kill me.

I ended up on anti depressants and valium, and i wouldnt wish the experience on anyone.

It escalated to a point where i couldnt even leave my room. And rooms in hostels really arent the best place for teenagers to stay for weeks on end.

I was taken to the police by a project worker, armed with the letters, correspondance and a log of all the phone calls.

At this point i had been continually abused by this sick man for over a year and I couldnt see an end to it.

Luckily, they seemed to be a bit more sympathetic, and arranged for someone from his local police force to pay a visit to him and warn him off.

Incidentally, it was on 13th February that they went round there, in 1991.

On Valentines day I received a letter and a poem and flowers, and a card, written in blood, with the obligatory razor blades, telling me that if i didnt slit my throat with them then he would do it within 24 hours then he would do it and he was on his way to my door. I phoned the pPolice immediately.

Mid afternoon, a very young WPC turned up, I let her in, I had been having a smoke with some friends and was a bit out of it.

She told me that they had again visited him in his home, but couldnt get in. They thought he was on his way to carry out his threats.

They went round the back and found him dead on the sofa. I wont go into details, but it was definately suicide. Accompanying him was a horrible note blaming me for it.

I did blame myself for a very long time, but i now know that you have to be strong and not be manipulated by these type of people. It gives them power and they carry on.

I was disgusted with myself for being happy that he was dead. But i was so happy and relieved that I could get my life back. It took a long time, and I dont really talk about it any more, but I just wanted to say that I can talk about it without blaming myself, i know none of it was my fault, I know he was ill etc etc, but even so, I was glad he was out of my life.

And now life is good. You gotta stay positive!!

They will catch her soon, keep your chin up, stay dignified, and keep positive.

Much Love

June 06, 2007 3:52 pm  
Blogger Fidothedog said...

Have you seen this one?

June 06, 2007 4:09 pm  
Anonymous Mary said...

Seen this? The first and the best! Rachel, maybe have you not seen this before?

June 06, 2007 4:43 pm  
Blogger Rachel said...

Muser, my heart goes out to you, what a hell of a story. Huge respect for getting through all that, and staying sane. Thank you so much for sharing that, it was humbling to read of your strength, and I wish you nothing but happiness in the future. I am glad you say your life is good now. May it always be so.

June 06, 2007 4:57 pm  
Blogger Rachel said...

Fido and Mary, good grief. I have only read a few pages but I am already spitting out my tea.

Oh well, internet justice...

June 06, 2007 4:59 pm  
Blogger Rachel said...

...and hopefully we will have court room justice soon as well.

June 06, 2007 5:00 pm  

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