Sunday, June 25, 2006

Paint on my face: half time

Marky, Maria ( who is Ukranian, but married to Marky) , Jane, J and me are watching the England - Ecuador match; as usual it is painful. I am wearing a red top and a white skirt and red shoes, with a St. George cross painted in lipstick on my face. Even my undies are patriotic.

I do not know why everyone claims on TV that ''there is a half time surge in electricity as the nation puts the kettle on''. Bollocks, nobody drinks tea during an England match; the nation opens the fridges to drink more Stella and Heineken. And there's no exception round here.

In desperation, faced with England's hoofing long-ball timewasting, I have put up the Guardian's free A3 poster of some fish. Fish are lucky. Since we put up the last Guardian poster of fish in the office, we have beaten our whole of last year's revenue target by the end of Q2. Come on, England. They are 'saving themselves', says the BBC commentator. What for? What is more important than this, playing for Queen and country, in the World Cup, if you are a professional England footballer?

Give me £100, 000 a week and I will play my heart out, even if it is a bit hot and sweaty. The crowd are singing, but there is a note of desperation to the songs. We usually play worse in the second half. Heart and soul and balls, England, what the bloody hell are you waiting for?


UPDATE: Thank God, we won. Well done, thank God for the fish and the lucky pendant and pants. I am exhausted and hoarse. Lennon was put on too late, Lampard a waste of salary, Beckham was deadly, and whoever said he should get off ( i.e: J) should apologise. Now. And Rooney went 93 minutes, so there is some hope, still.

Sort of. Maybe. Come on, England.

3 Comments:

Blogger Davide Simonetti said...

Yeah, but after watching the Mexico Argentina game, I think England are really going to have to pull their fingers out to get anywhere near that sort of quality, and I've been saying the same thing about Italy who also seem to be a bit lacklustre. (I don't know what's come over me, I'm not usually that into football).

Dx

June 25, 2006 8:27 pm  
Blogger City Slicker said...

Sat through agony watching taht match. ok, is it just me or is John Terry still in the closet and that is what makes him so annoying...just come out with it boy and I will give you respect.
Rooney great enduarnce for a stocky bloke, bekcham well done considering you seemed half with it...but Lampard what the hell was that? and Gerrard? Totally agree what are you waiting for? A week in Germany with your ever so engaging wives? What atreat lads...or maybe that is why you have trouble getting motivated...maybe everyone is jealous of Owen afterall. At least he is out of the limelight and she is out of the WAG line-up.
Cheers for youtr site
Cityslicker

June 25, 2006 8:57 pm  
Blogger Lee Morris said...

You can never leave Beckham out; on his day he's the best crosser/free kick taker in the world. Drop hargreaves and shove rooney & crouch up front.

I'm glad in a way that Owen is injured because in all honesty he is rubbish, totally overrated. Crouch is much more of a threat, as is rooney. Lampard has been useless in front of goal the last few games but his overall play makes up for it.

Oh and did anyone see christiano ronaldo crying when he got took off in the portugal game? quality! can't think of a more deserving player to have a ruined world cup.

sorry for the rant im just bored.

June 26, 2006 12:05 am  

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