Sunday, April 01, 2007

April Fool

A quick break from book final edits with a round up of the April Fools I spotted today.

The Observer: 'Prime Minister agrees to take role in The Crucible after an approach from his friend Kevin Spacey'

Blair's rapport with Spacey was evident when they appeared together on Michael Parkinson's television chat show last year, where the host told Blair: 'At your school... you were called the best actor of your generation.'
Additional reporting by Primera Delmes ( nice touch)

The Sunday Times CHARLES CLARKE is ready to challenge Gordon Brown for the Labour leadership if David Miliband fails to mount a bid.

Actually, that's not an April Fool. See this fantastically funny piece by Marina Hyde ( thanks to reader C.D for alerting me).

Anyone found any more April Fools?



Blogger Unknown said...

Call me stupid, but I've just spent ages sitting in a coffee shop trying to figure out the Primera Delmes anagram..can you put me out of my misery? ;)

April 01, 2007 5:37 pm  
Blogger Rachel said...

I took it to be not an anagram but a reference to the first of April - Primera - first - and I can't rememeber but I think DElmes is a town with a famous April festival.

April 01, 2007 6:06 pm  
Blogger IainC said...

It should and could be an April Fool, but Mark Thomas's series of conversations with Her Majesty's Constabulary when obtaining permits to demonstrate near Parliament - about the need to obtain permits to demonstrate near Parliament, for example - are actually true. Aren't they ?
probably downloadable until Thursday.

BTW, congratulations on two more new words - Weddingery and Bridezilla (Bride of Godzilla ? Godzilla in White ?)


April 01, 2007 7:27 pm  
Blogger jailhouselawyer said...

Iain Dale did one where he claimed that he was running for Lord Mayor of London.

April 01, 2007 8:21 pm  
Blogger Numeral said...

Grow-your-own Viagra craze hits Britain's garden centres
By David Randall
Published: 01 April 2007

A chance discovery by a Berkshire allotment-holder that a plant widely available in garden centres has the same effect on men as Viagra has been confirmed by experts at one of the world's leading botanical institutions.

The plant is winter-flowering heather, and botanists at the Royal Botanic Gardens, Edinburgh, many of them heather experts who have recognised the source of its active ingredient, now expect it to be the next must-have plant in British gardens. Demand is already high. Nurseries and garden centres in some areas are having trouble finding sufficient supplies as word spreads of the plant's unexpected properties.

A spokesman for Wyevale Garden Centres, which has 106 UK branches, said: "At first, it was just a trickle of inquiries, but now stores are virtually being besieged each weekend. We have had men buying dozens of the plants and, at one store in Croydon, there were men old enough to know better fighting over the last remaining trays."

The latest gardening craze was triggered by a discovery by a 55-year-old furniture restorer, Michael Ford, on his allotment. He was always experimenting with drinks made from different plants and one day he tried an infusion from his winter-flowering heather. He said: "The effect was almost immediate. I had to stay in my potting shed for an hour or so before I could decently walk down the street."

He then contacted the Royal Botanic Gardens, Edinburgh, famous for their work with the heather family, to see if they could offer an explanation. They could. Botanist Alan Bennell said: "This first surfaced when East European chemists reported finding a Viagra-type chemical in the floral tissues of winter-flowering heaths. They were able to isolate measurable amounts of material that is an analogue of the active principle in Viagra."

Winter-flowering heather, he explained, belongs to the genus Erica, a close relative of our own native heather. He said: "As yet, the active ingredient has not been found in these British forms, but it is proving to be most concentrated in many of the widely available hybrids sold as winter-flowering heather in garden centres. Particularly potent are forms of Erica carnea, the Alpine heather, whose range extends into the Balkans.

"The work of these biochemists and physiologists - much of it disrupted and lost during the ravages of war - is now coming to light."

From the limited amount of information available, it is suggested the Viagra-analogue is best extracted by steeping the detached small flowers in neat alcohol. An infusion of about 20g of flowers in 100ml of fluid liberates the active principle. A quality full-strength vodka (at least 40 per cent) is also effective. Mr Bennell added: "There is some confusion whether oral consumption or topical application is more effective."

But not everyone is happy about this new discovery. One woman shopping at a Wyvales in Dorking yesterday said: "It's amazing. My husband has never shown any interest in gardening before, but now he's out there night and day fussing over his heathers. Frankly, I preferred it when he left the garden to me and wasn't so frisky."


The Indie has given a choice of five stories, only one of which is a fool, so they say. A close second is "Human Rights for Robots". Quite possibly, all of them are fools. How can you tell these days?

April 01, 2007 9:11 pm  
Blogger Rachel said...

hee hee, excellent

April 01, 2007 9:56 pm  
Blogger Davide Simonetti said...

My favourite was this from the Telegraph:

Revealed: cash-strapped London ready to share Olympics with France

April 02, 2007 1:56 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Re anagram: "Red April memes"? Mental note, must get out more...

April 03, 2007 12:09 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home